Keyword Stuffing for the DHS

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This is an entry to this contest (click to enlarge):

Contest

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I try to use as many words on DHS target keyword watch list from the “Cyber Terror” category as possible. Here goes:

I went to the bar and didn’t know what to think
But I’ve seen on TV
If you’re pretty like me
Ladies might buy you a drink

So I approach a fair lady who says she’s with DHS
Looking for hackers
And cyberattckers
I said, “That sounds like a mess!”

“Oh yes,” said she, “I’m all about cyber security,
You can get a virus from hoes
Trojan won’t protect you from those
And phreaking worms threaten our cyber purity!”

“Oh dear,” I replied, fearing she had too much liquor
I saw the bartender was too nervous
To give her denial of service
As she talked of China’s confickers

“Spammers and scammers, keyloggers and bloggers, all brute forcing my social media.
I need a MySQL injection
And rootkit protection,
Lest cyber command destroy Botnet and Wikipedia!”

I could see she was off her rocker but couldn’t bring myself to mock her
She was now phishing for compliments
And wanted to search my documents
Cain and Abel could not spare her from cyber terror

She complained about DDOS and I started not to care
She said, “You’ll be sorry! 
2600 is not about Atari!
You’ll soon be infected by malware!”

And isn’t this just what I should have expected from the DHS?
They will huff and puff
Threaten us with all kinds of stuff
I sure wish Janet would just give it a rest

Janet

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